Daily Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S03E12: “Attack of Big Macc”

Welcome back to another classic TMNT episode recap. Today marks the 30th episode in the series and, to celebrate, we will…be watching and commenting about the going-ons as normal. Isn’t that fun?!

Yesterday’s episode actually wasn’t too bad and I hope we can keep up that same level of mediocrity as we go through today. I have no idea what the title is in reference to since I sincerely doubt it would be about my favorite hamburgers, but the screen cap on the DVD has a picture of a robot so I cannot wait to have my brain melted by the upcoming drivel!

I can’t believe we ate this shit up with a spoon as kids. Man, we fucking loved it! Man, we were fucking morons! Kids are the worst. Let’s watch some TV.

Daily Cartoon! RAINBOW BRITE E.1: “Peril In The Pits”

Welcome to the Thursday edition of the Daily Cartoon on Car JoeMez! I’ve been trying to keep a good variety with this so today, we’re heading back to the 80s to catch an episode of Rainbow Brite!

I don’t remember how popular this was since I was really young when it was a thing, but – as a character – Rainbow Brite has had a pretty decent run. From being a big star for girls in the 80s to being a wonderfully slutty Halloween costume for those same girls once they grew up, she definitely has her fanbase.

Daily Cartoon! ROBOCOP: The Animated Series E.11: “Into The Wilderness”

Welcome to another edition of the Daily Cartoon on Car JoeMez! Make sure to check out the latest episode of The Car JoeMez Podcast where we set the wheels in motion for our first contest and discuss the final installment of the Wolverine trilogy, LOGAN, on iTunes, Soundcloud or wherever you get your podcasts. It’s good. Listen to it.

Today’s cartoon is Robocop: The Animated Series! If you don’t remember this existing, you’re most likely not alone. It only lasted 12 episodes in 1988 and then faded into obscurity to only be viewed by idiots like me who can’t get enough of shit like this.

Daily Cartoon! TRANSFORMERS S.3,E.24: “Grimlock’s New Brain”

Welcome to Tuesday’s edition of the Daily Cartoon on Car JoeMez! Today we have a special request sent in by listener of the podcast, Chris! He loves the show and so will you so make sure you listen to new episodes of The Car JoeMez Podcast every week on iTunes, Soundcloud or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep those subscriptions, reviews and referrals coming too. I love that shit.

Today, we’re checking out an episode of the original Transformers series! I assume everybody knows something about this show or franchise in some way, shape or form, so not a lot of background is needed here.

Chris asked me to review this specific episode for a reason I’m sure we’ll soon find out, but off the top of my head, I don’t singularly remember it. What I do know, however, is that this takes places after the animated movie so I’m guessing all the beloved robots we said goodbye to there are still dead. Either way, we’re going to find out today.

Since we’re all pretty familiar with the general premise of the show, let me give you some background on just my memories of this property. I would never have called it my favorite thing as a kid, but it was something I was totally into. I watched the cartoons, had a few of the toys and even saw the movie in theaters. My brother was a much bigger fan than me and it’s probably his number one “thing” from childhood. Either this or Ghostbusters. He loves them both. Take it up with him.

My favorite of the Transformers is and always was Starscream. He was the prototypical chicken-shit bad guy and I always loved his schemes behind Megatron’s back and then how he’d cower when Megatron would confront him. That’s entertainment, folks. He was very much like one of my other favorite cartoon characters ever, Cobra Commander, in that way except that he wasn’t the man in charge. Quick note for reference sake, both Starscream and Cobra Commander were voiced by the same actor, Chris Latta. I think that’s pretty cool.

 

Unfortunately for me, Starscream was killed during the movie in cold blood by the evil Galvatron just as he was taking the throne as leader of the Decepticons. Galvatron, of course, was a reincarnated version of Megatron and a general all-around douche. Fuck you, Galvatron.

OK, so this episode – based on title – will have an obvious focus on Grimlock and, I assume, the rest of the Dinobots which sounds like a score since they are usually hilarious. So this sounds like a great episode to check out.

Let’s watch a cartoon.

Transformers S., E.24: “Grimlock’s New Brain”

Originally Aired: November 14, 1986

Plot:

We open with Ultra Magnus talking about a new energy source they’ve discovered and for Grimlock to throw the switch. Of course, Grimlock fucks everything up and the rest of the Autobots are wishing the Dinobots had more sophisticated brains.

Other Autobots are beginning to malfunction because of some kind of leak in the power core at the center of Cybertron. Rodimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Cup and Grimlock begin to travel to address the problem with the core and have a little gizmo that Perciptor made for them that will guide them. Grimlock wants to hold the compass-looking thing and, despite protests from Rodimus, takes it, breaks it and then leaves in a fit after becoming upset that the rest of the Autobots treat him like he’s stupid. Unfortunately for Grimlock, he’s really fucking stupid.

Rodimus sends Cup to stay with Grimlock because they don’t want the head Dinobot fucking with their security systems while underground. Rodimus and Ultra Magnus continue the journey.

Grimlock and Cup actually find the energy core on their own, but as they get close, the power incapacitates Cup. Grimlock knows that he has to shut the machine down so he goes about destroying it in typical Grimlock fashion. He tries ripping some of the wiring out with his teeth and is given a healthy dose of overwhelming power. When the machine is finally put to rest, Grimlock is suddenly the smartest guy around.

Grimlock’s voice is distinctly different and he’s suddenly describing the process of shutting down the machine like a regular ole Mr. Science. To Cup’s credit, he is completely dumbfounded by Grimlock’s new tone. Cup is a grizzled old robot-war vet so I don’t think he’s programmed to be able to handle a conversation with someone like the new Professor Grimlock.

Cut to Galvatron on his way high-tech Decepticon hideout, where he’s pissing and moaning about these two mutant-looking dudes he’s hired having failed at their mission. They planted some anti-electrons that were causing the Autobots to malfunction, but since the energy core was shut down, they’re now rendered ineffective. Galvatron demands an energy source to have his plan put back in motion and the one mutant who looks like Creature from the Black Lagoon, but with an eye patch says he should be able to use the energy from Unicron’s brain.

The Decepticons set course for Unicron’s floating head and are careful not to awake him just in case. They begin to drain him of the remainder of his anti-electrons. Grimlock has figured out the mystery of the anti-electrons and their debilitating effects and the Autobots make a mission to get to Unicron hopefully before the Decepticons can.

The Decepticons are ready for the Autobots arrival, though and shoot down their ship as they’re arriving. With the anti-electrons everywhere, the Autobots are rendered basically useless and are getting their asses handed to them on a platter. Apparently unaffected by the anti-electrons, Grimlock leaves the Autobots to get pummeled so he can use spare parts within Unicron to build a new Transformer, Nosecone. Nosecone transforms into a type of tank with a drill and Grimlock has him drill deep into Unicron so Grimlock can get safe passage to the brain.

Unicron awakens and his internal defense system activates against both Autobots and Decepticons! Grimlock, however, is a step ahead. In addition to Nosecone, he has now built an entire crew of additional Autobots that he titles the Technobots! The Technobots are able to disarm Unicron’s defenses and Grimlock sends them out to help the remaining Autobots while he stays behind in Unicron’s brain.

 

The Technobots are able to assemble and form Computron! Grimlock puts on a helmet and transfers his intelligence to Computron with the full understanding that he will revert to his original slow-witted self. Computron is able to fend off the Decepticons and save the day for the Autobots all while destroying the remaining supply of anti-electrons. Everything is good in Autobot land. For now.

 

Final Thoughts:

I can’t remember ever seeing this episode and I certainly don’t ever remember Computron, but this was fucking dynamite. Pretty much the regular premise for the show: Autobots seeking energy source, Decepticons sabotaging Autobots, fight, but it was fun and felt different.

Smart Grimlock is terrific when he’s being condescending to less intelligent Autobots. It’s like those motherfuckers had it coming for all the years of treating him like a moron.

All in all, a really cool episode that I’m happy was suggested. If you’re looking to get on this, I don’t believe Transformers is streaming anywhere right now. I literally had to order this DVD from Amazon because it was literally the one of the series that I never got around to owning previously. There’s also nothing really up on YouTube so DVD it is. Not that I’m mad about that. I still like owning hard copies of certain things and am happy it gave me an excuse to finally have all of the first-generation Transformers series.

Over the years, I’ve watched a bunch of this show, but thinking back, it was probably exclusively pre-movie. After seeing this, I’m super interested to check out the rest of seasons 3 and 4 and see how it finished off.

Thanks for reading. Keep the requests coming and we’ll see you tomorrow!

❤ Joe

 

Daily Cartoon! Garbage Pail Kids: E.13: “The Fry/A Fishy Story”

Let’s get this out of the way quickly because I really want to get into this show. So…we have a podcast, the Car JoeMez Podcast, which you should listen to on iTunes, Soundcloud or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. It’d be greatly appreciated if you could also like, subscribe, rate and/or leave a review since all of that stuff is integral to helping spread the word. Thanks.

With that said, this is going to be interesting. I didn’t even know that this was a thing that existed, but after seeing something about it on an 80s Instagram account that I follow, I made a point of things to see if I could hunt down an episode. Turns out, it wasn’t so hard as most, if not all, episodes can be found on YouTube.

The show is simply called Garbage Pail Kids and if you’re saying, “Joe, sure I remember the cards and stickers, but I don’t ever remember watching this show,” there’s a good reason for that. From everything I can gather, an order was put in for this show, there were 13 episodes produced and then CBS started getting complaints BEFORE IT EVER AIRED from these groups that think they’re more righteous than everybody else because  they claimed the show ridiculed the handicapped, glorified violence and was little more than an infomercial to buy GPK trading cards.

Let me reiterate that they put in all these complaints BEFORE THE SHOW EVER AIRED.

Because sponsors were scared of the negative press supporting a show getting this kind of backlash would garner, they started dropping out and the show was pulled from all scheduled slots in the United States. It did air everywhere else in the world, but nope, not America, where we have all those freedoms that the rest of the world doesn’t.

So these episodes exist and can be found in pretty decent quality and now we feel like we HAVE to watch them because some prude, conservative fuckball think they know what’s best for us when all they have to do is just not watch it themselves. So, fuck you, Christian Leaders for Responsible Television. And fuck you, Action For Children’s Television. And, hold up, because I’ve got a fuck you for you too, National Coalition on Television Violence.

It’s fucking Garbage Pail Kids. They’re freaks and mutants. What did you expect?

But if it’s got this whole stigma attached to the point where it never aired in the United States, it’s got to be fucking horrible, right? Now, I’m really interested. Let’s check this bad boy out.

Garbage Pail Kids: Episode 13: “The Fry/A Fishy Story”

Originally Aired: July 19, 1988 in the UK

Plot:

OK, so right off the bat, I’m assuming this is the typical two short stories made into one full episode based on the title. I think that’s a safe assumption. Especially when the title comes across as “The Fry”.

The first story is a play off the Jeff Goldblum classic movie, The Fly, and features two kids in a bedroom where one has created a teleportation machine. He makes sure to have eliminated the possibility of any actual houseflies getting caught in the machine because he goes to the movies and knows the fucking deal. Unfortunately for him, his friend – a girl, of course – haphazardly throws a little carton of french fries she was holding into the machine thinking it was a wastebasket. Yes, because teleporters and trash bins looks exactly alike.

Also, there’s no evidence of any other fast food. No sodas, wrappers, burgers, chicken nuggets. So this girl just had fucking fries? Who the fuck buys just one thing of fries? And where did she get the money for these fries?

Either way, the other kid ends up crossing DNA with a fucking french fry. When his mom hears all the noise, she comes in and takes the box of fries away and reprimands the kids about junk food. She throws them in the trash, but one of the actual fries also has crisscrossed DNA so the kids need to get that back so they can reverse the polarity of the machine and make this guy a boy again instead of a french fry in shorts who craves having ketchup thrown on his face.

No, I’m serious, that’s a thing.

Of course the garbage men come to pick up the pails immediately after the mom takes the fries away so this becomes a high-stakes chase of the kids trying to get those fries back so they can un-do the science.

To make a long-story short, they eventually do get the fries back and re-do the machine process, but since they’ve been in trash all day, there’s flies around them and the kid doesn’t check for them this time. So he turns into a fly. The mom hears the noise again and is about to come into the room to see what’s going on, but the boy-fly flies out the window to avoid being seen. This is how this story ends. Mercifully.

As a buffer, we get a segment about Moms always being right. Like if she says to stop making that face because it’ll freeze that way, we see the kid’s face actually freezing up and icing over. Sighhhhhhhh.

Then we get to the back half, “A Fishy Story”. So this features the five Garbage Pail Kids that I guess were so offensive to people. They are: Split Kit, Elliot Mess, Terry Cloth, Patty Putty and Clogged Duane.

 

OK, so yeah, they’re weird. Let’s see how people pick on them for being handicapped.

They’re all on a rowboat that gets overturned. For some reason, there’s a manta ray with a crossbow that shoots a plunger trying to catch a mermaid. So, far, yeah, I’m with. The kids safe the mermaid. OK, now she’s gonna be horrified by the freaks, right?

The mermaid is thrilled to see these kids and recruits them to help her save her father’s ranch from Big Red, the Lobster Banker.The underwater land is set up like the Wild West and the mermaid’s father owns a seahorse ranch. And I can’t see seahorses without thinking of…

Once again, to make a long story short, the town banker has a gang of manta rays who steal the seahorses from the mermaids so they can’t make money and the bank can take ownership of the ranch. That’s pretty f’d up. Thankfully, the GPK help save the day and the Lobster banker and his goons get arrested by the Octopus Sheriff.

At no point did anybody make fun of the handicapped and the violence included wasn’t even real violence, it was basically sight-gags in 80s cartoon world. The crossbows shot fucking plungers for crissakes.

If anything, the Kids here were treated like heroes for having helped save this girl’s family’s ranch.

But so ends our episode.

Final Thoughts:

First things first: the quality of the show wasn’t great. Let’s just focus on that for a bit. I hated the first story and the buffer segment. Just terrible. The second with the actual kids was a big step up, but still kind of clumsy and not all that great. This is just one episode, but maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world that this was never aired.

Beyond that, I saw nothing happen in this episode that would lead you to believe that the handicapped were being mocked, that it was overflowing with violence or that it was a vehicle for the trading cards. I’m sure there would have been some strategically placed trading card commercials during the breaks, but this was 1988 and other cartoons with full-blown toy lines had been doing that for years already.

So, yeah, I’m bothered by the fact that these groups had enough pull to get the show barred without any of it having been aired, but there’s nothing I saw in this episode that makes me want to see more of it anyway. It’s just this little nugget of cartoon history that I happened to come across.

Like I said earlier, there’s only 13 episodes in total and you can find most, if not all, on YouTube. There’s also a DVD collection that a quick Google search shows me you can find for like $7 if you are so inclined.

At the end of the day, I’m glad I learned something new because even meaningless knowledge makes you smarter, but there are much better cartoons out there for me to spend my time on. Thanks for reading.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! The Flintstone Kids: S.1,E.20: “Betty’s Big Break”

Welcome to today’s edition of the Daily Cartoon! Before we get started, you should know that we released a new episode of the Car JoeMez Podcast today where we talk about the hit movie, Lego Batman! A simple search on iTunes, Soundcloud or wherever you get your podcasts is all it takes so give it a listen, share it with your friends and leave a comment or review because you love us and we’ll love you back!

Today’s selection was a reader request and I was all too happy to revisit this series. The Flintstone Kids ran for two seasons and 32 episodes between 1986-1988 and follows the Bedrock gang that we know and love as childhood friends and their dealings with the big school bully, Rocky Ratrock and his gang.

If you want to be a stickler about shit, this contradicts the continuity of the original series which had an episode showing that Fred and Barney didn’t meet Wilma and Betty until they were older, but we don’t allow sticklers here, so can it, pal. In this story, everybody knew each other as kids and grew up knowing they were destined to be married and give us a wonderful look into their adult lives through the magic of animated television.

I’ve always been a fan of The Flintstones so it’s with no surprise that I enjoyed this show as a kid. I’m not going to sit here and tell you it was my favorite thing ever, but it was something I looked forward to on Saturday mornings and – since you know how I am by now – that enjoyment was only enhanced by a cool, little toyline!

We definitely had some of these in my house growing up, but I want to say it was my brother who was the bigger fan. He was a couple of years younger than me which was good because he had his own things that I could still play with.

The show had a distinct moral message whether it was anti-bullying, or staying in school and – without looking this up, so don’t butcher me if I’m wrong – I want to say they even did a primetime special about saying no to drugs since that kind of thing was everywhere at the time.

I don’t really know too many people who are huge fans of this show, but it seems to be fondly remembered if you bring it up. Like one of those, “Holy shit! I forgot all about that! Yeah, that was great!” type of things. I used to like it and was an especially big fan of the segments that featured Captain Caveman. I fucking loved me some goddamn Captain Caveman!

 

So, with all that intro let’s get to this show and see how it holds up.

The Flintstone Kids: S.1, E.20: “Betty’s Big Break”

Originally Aired: March 14, 1987

Plot:

We open with a shot of Bedrock Elementary School which has a big banner advertising the school play, “The Lizard of Oz”. Wilma is playing the Good Witch, but wishes Betty had a bigger part since she’s just a flower. Fortunately for Betty, however, Dreamchip Gemstone, who is playing Dorothy comes down with laryngitis and Betty is forced to assume the starring role.

The curtain lifts and we go into a dream sequence with Betty auditioning for talent agents Fred and Wilma who end up hiring her to – at first – replace Dreamchip as their star, but then to be her assistant since you don’t just get rid of your star.

We meet Nate Slate who’s a big TV producer and will be coming to Bedrock to find a new show to put on his network. It’s between “The Lizard of Oz” and Rocky Ratrock’s Wrestling Show. Whichever he likes best will get the big push.

Rocky’s show impresses Slate and to try to cement the deal, Rocky pours lemon juice in Dreamchip’s throat spray thinking that, with her out of the picture, his show will easily win. Betty takes over the lead role and absolutely slays as Dorothy and Mr. Slate is all too happy to make her and the show stars.

We come out of the dream sequence and Betty is finishing her final song at the school play where, just as envisioned, she kills it and everybody is ecstatic over a play well done.

I forgot that this show will break into segments so as that first part concludes, we move into a buffer with Dino called “Dino’s Dillemas”. We get a quick bit about him being bullied by a bigger bulldog named Spike who takes his bone, but Dino quickly comes up with a way to outsmart him, exact revenge and get his bone back. Nothing big here, but a quick way to break up stories.

But now I’m excited because, to close the show, we get a goddamn CAPTAIN CAVEMAN & Son segment! You think you’re excited? Feel these fucking nipples!

The villainous Mr. Bad uses his secret weapon – the Backwards Beam – to turn all of Bedrock…backwards, duh. Cops are in jail, criminals are in charge, cats are chasing dogs and – most importantly – Captain Caveman and Cavey, Jr. are the number one fugitives in town!

Because of the way this show is split into segments, these stories aren’t very long, but they don’t need to be. Eventually, Captain Caveman and son figure out a way to outsmart Mr. Bad, get control of the Backwards Beam and return everything in Bedrock to normal.

We get a shot of all the Flintstone kids at home watching Captain Caveman on TV and they celebrate at the outcome and they can’t wait for next week. Admittedly, neither can I.

Final Thoughts:

The biggest takeaway here is that this would be very difficult to get sick of because of how the segments are broken down. I love the characters, obviously, so by keeping them to small, fun bits that aren’t too long, you’re basically protecting things from getting dragged out. It leads to a nice, innocent burst of fun that has you wanting more.

The Captain Caveman stuff is just wonderful. I don’t know why, but I just love the ever-living shit out of him. It’s silly, over-the-top and crazy because it doesn’t have to make sense. It just is. And I’m perfectly OK with that. Unga Bunga like a motherfucker.

All in all, this was a fun thing to check out today. I’m not exactly going to start hunting down episodes so I can watch the whole series or anything, but it was nice to watch this, reminisce a bit and leave with a smile on my face. Good times for me and you. Thanks for reading.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling: E.12: “The Last Resort”

Whether you’re too young to remember, or have just simply forgotten, there have been times when it felt like literally everybody loved pro wrestling. This was never more evident than during the mid-1980s when Hulk Hogan reigned supreme over the wrestling world.

Just how popular was The Hulkster? He was the bee’s knees. He was Cyndi Lauper’s date to the Grammys, he was making appearances on talk shows and MTV, he was on the cover of Sports Illustrated and he was even the focal point of his own Saturday Morning Cartoon, Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling.

The show featured a group of WWF (at the time) wrestlers split into good and bad guys just doing normal real life stuff, but their physicality and brawn would always come into play.

As a kid, I remember watching the show and even getting stickers of the animated wrestlers out of the machine near the checkout counter of our local King Kullen supermarket back in the day. There were even toys produced of the wrestlers as their animated selves that I never had because, I suppose, my mom hated me and didn’t want me to ever be happy.

The cartoon series only lasted two seasons of 13 episodes each (with some episodes having two short stories), but retained a decent cult following despite being forgotten by the mainstream almost immediately. It even had some recognizable names providing voices for the grapplers! Brad Garrett (who became the tall, goofy brother on Everybody Loves Raymond) voiced Hulk Hogan, James Avery (the wonderful Uncle Phil on Fresh Prince and also the voice of Shredder) as the Junkyard Dog and Pat Fraley (who has one of the most amazing voice acting careers you’ll ever see if you read his IMDB) provided the drawl of Hillbilly Jim.

The show had a brief resurrection around 2000 when WWF (or WWE, though I still think we were F at that point) produced three home video releases of Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling that sold pretty well and introduced the show to a new audience.

I remember the series being typical 80s cheese, but a fun time because of the characters involved. Even though it wasn’t the wrestlers doing the voices it was cool to see them in situations like racing cars or whatever the hell else they were doing that day.

I may not feel the same when I finish this episode, but let’s find out.

Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling : S.1,E.12: “The Last Resort”

Originally Aired: October 26, 1985

Plot:

We get the opening which is titled “Hulk Hogan’s Theme”. It was included on The Wrestling Album, a record released by WWF in 1985 and, was supposed to be Hulk’s entrance music as well, but he liked another song from the album, “Real American”, better and pushed to have that instead. I’d say things worked out OK. Personally, however, I do love “Hulk Hogan’s Theme”. Not enough to wish it was his theme music for all those years of defeating Sgt. Slaughter and the like, but it’s not a horrible song.

We’re met with Hulk and the gang (Wendi Richter, Hillbilly Jim, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, Andre The Giant, Junkyard Dog, Tito Santana and Captain Lou Albano) boarding a plane so they can visit their friend Tony Torpedo who is opening a hotel. Tito exclaims how excited he is for a week of fun in the sun. Arriba!

When they arrive at the hotel, they’re met by Tony who says the hotel is already in trouble because another hotel offered his entire crew double the money and now his grand opening may double as his grand closing. Hulk comes up with a great idea for Tony to go out and assemble an entirely new crew while him and the gang stay behind and run the hotel until he returns.

We get Hulk and Wendi running the front desk and the others as bellhops which leads to some expected hilarity. The last of the guests at the opening is the Bashar of Budastan which ends up being some royal kid from a Middle Eastern country.

Hulk immediately gets into it with the Bashar’s security because he refuses to bow, but the Bashar is reminded that customs are different in the USA and he calls off the guards.His handlers ask to speak to Hulk privately and tell him that the Bashar is transporting a priceless jewel that he will display for the first time once his completes his journey and arrives in New York. It’s important because if the jewel is lost, this kid can’t be the leader of Budastan anymore. It’s basically the fucking conch from “Lord of the Flies”.

We get the crew being inept at some of the tasks that come with running a hotel, but none more so than Captain Lou being the absolute worst chef ever and causing a flood of spaghetti all over the kitchen.

Of course, the really important jewel is stolen the very first night and the Budastani security team accuses Captain Lou. Hogan bargains with the General to retrieve the jewel on his own so he can free the Cap.

Turns out it was the General who was behind the robbery the entire time so he could take over control of Whateverfakeassfuckingcountry. We get a really high-speed golf cart chase that finally results in the capture of the General and the return of power to the Bashar who says that all the wrestlers will be known as national heroes in Budastan. We get a finally joke and a group laughing scene and on to the credits.

Final Thoughts:

This show is utterly ridiculous. But I fucking enjoyed the shit out of it. Cartoon Hulk Hogan wearing a tuxedo and acting as a concierge? Sign me up! Junkyard Dog teaching the Bashar how to dance? Yessir!

This was a good time. It’s silly, it’s cheesy, it corny, it’s all of the foodies.

There were no villains in this episode, but Roddy Piper, Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff and maybe one or two others that I can’t think of off the top of my head do make appearances throughout the series. You know shit’s gotta get real when those big confrontations go down.

A few years ago, I came across a torrent online that had the complete series and, of course, burned it to two DVDs. To the best of my knowledge, this show doesn’t exist on a real commercial DVD release, but there are a bunch of episodes available in full on YouTube. If you’re a wrestling fan or simply just a fan of the 80s style of cartoons, I think you could do a lot worse than Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling. 

I’d imagine most people haven’t even heard of this, let alone seen it, but go look for it and enjoy. It’s fun. Promise.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Inspector Gadget: S.1,E.8: “Haunted Castle”

Welcome back to another completed random cartoon that I just put on to review! It’s incredible to think of just the volume of cartoons there has been over the years and I’m already starting to get people sending me requests.

Of course, I will be honoring such requests because I’m the best. So if there’s anything you think I should watch and rant about, send an e-mail to CarJoeMez@gmail.com or hit the Twitter: @CarJoeMez.

I’ve always been a fan of Inspector Gadget. He always came off as the right combination of goofy, slapstick and fun to me. So watching an episode of this classic series was an easy decision. It’s been a long while since I’ve watched any of this, so I’m excited to see how it holds up. Soooooo…let’s get to it.

Inspector Gadget : S.1, E.8: “Haunted Castle”

Originally Aired: September 21, 1983

Plot:

We get the classic Gadget opening which is a tune I can be caught humming a lot more often than you’d imagine. It’s just catchy AF and gets me hyped for the show.

Gadget, Penny and Brain are driving the Gadgetmobile through Transylvania, the home of Count Dracula, if you didn’t know. Cut to Dr. Claw and Mad Cat who have a Transylvanian office now and are planning for the arrival of the good guys. Apparently,there’s a law-enforcement convention in town and the bad Doctor is planning to be able to rid himself of the Inspector once and for all.

The arrive at The Skull Inn which is dark and demonic looking…kind of like a Motel 6. As they walk in, they’re met by Chief Quimby who points out Count Dracula’s Castle out the window and says the locals have been hearing voices in there recently that they believe to be Dr. Claw. It’s up to Gadget to stop Claw’s evil plans to disrupt the big law-enforcement conference.

Gadget and crew hit the road to check out Dracula’s castle, but Dr. Claw is waiting and unleashes some booby traps. Of course, Gadget just thinks the roads are terrible and calls the tourist bureau to complain as they barely escape a brush with death.

The good Inspector leads them into the castle as Dr. Claw sets his evil plan in motion. Penny and Brain are terrified, but settle down as they explore the castle and don’t see any spookiness. Claw wants to split up the group so he sends a clue his way to make Gadget want to explore on his own. Penny, of course, sees right through this and sends Brain to tail Gadget as she checks out the other parts of the castle.

Penny is almost immediately captured by MAD agents as Gadget unknowingly thwarts the first attempt at capturing him.Brain guides Gadget to the basement to get him to help Penny, but they eventually fall through a trap-door and into a cavern where they’re reunited with Penny.

From here we get some wonderful Gadget and company darting in and out of booby traps and causing havoc for MAD agents until the plan is foiled for good. The law-enforcement convention goes off without a hitch and Dr. Claw escapes into the night while exclaiming that Gadget will never catch him.

Final Review:

Inspector Gadget is incredibly cheesy and I make no bones about loving it. Sure, the episodes are just Dr. Claw’s daily new scheme, but they’re presented in a way that entertains more than frustrates like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles can after a while.

The voice-acting is terrific and I love not knowing what Dr. Claw looks like. It’s a tiny thing, but it adds a layer of intrigue to wonder if you’ll ever actually get to see him.

When they finally made a Gadget Super Nintendo game, it was promoted that you’d finally see Dr. Claw if you were able to get to end. I never played this game. Some things are better off unknown.

So yeah, if you’re looking for amazing writing or storytelling, you’re in the wrong place, but if you want a light-hearted fun half hour, come on it and watch some Inspector Gadget with me.

❤ Joe

 

Daily Cartoon! She-Ra, S.1,E.14: “Friendship”

Welcome! Trying something new in an effort to not make me hate all the cartoons I loved as a kid. From now on, I’ll just be picking random episodes of random cartoons and doing my synopses. People read this and think they’re fun, so I want to keep doing them, but it gets hard when you begin hating what you’re watching.

Those of you who listen to the show know what a fan I am of the He-Man universe. And, obviously, that would include She-Ra and all the happenings on planet Etheria! Seeing as how the Princess of Power series was just re-added to Netflix, I decided to dial-up a random choice with a short title. That was legitimately my criteria: one word title. So let’s see how this fares on its own.

She-Ra: Princess of Power: S.1, E.14: “Friendship”

Originally Aired: September 25, 1985

Plot:

Because of He-Man, I’m a huge fanboy of FILMATION, the company that produced the He-Man/She-Ra series as well Bravestarr, Ghostbusters and others. Seeing the letters fall into place to form the logo at the beginning of each episode gets me absolutely fired up. I’m not even joking. I love it.

We get the opening where Adora explains her origin for those not in the loop. Fabulous secrets were revealed to her the day she held aloft her magic sword and proclaimed, “…for the honor of Grayskull.” All great stuff.

She explains how her friends in the great rebellion look to free Etheria from the evil forces of Hordak, the big bad here and his Horde. After all, this is a rebellion and she’s gonna rebel.

So we pick up in the Forest where Adora has received a letter from a woman who was her second in command while still working for the Horde which says she will be put in prison because Hordak blames her for Adora turning babyface and joining the Rebellion. She has to go help. Bow and others offer to come along, but Adora refuses and says she must go alone to make it harder to be spotted while trespassing in the Fright Zone.

She-Ra instructs Swiftwind, her trusty, winged steed to pay close attention because anything can happen. Just as she says this, she is dragged into a tar pit by a cyclops squid monster. She’s pulled completely under, but within seconds, Squidclops (my name, not her’s) is launched into orbit and She-Ra emerges unscathed, but dripping with tar. This is an easy fix as she just spins around really fast until the tar is no more and she’s back to a glisten. But of course.

Cut to Bow who is traveling with Cowl to provide Adora some backup. They’re just worried and want to ensure her safety. She-Ra and Swiftwind encounter an angry pterodactyl looking monster who isn’t happy to have guests. She-Ra reads this thing’s mind and is able to figure out that it has an injured wing. She presses her hand to it and magically heals the beast who is now her friend.The Princess of Power, folks: a cross between Jesus Christ and Mr. Miyagi.

I guarantee this comes into play later in the episode when She-Ra finds herself in a pickle.

She-Ra gets into the Fright Zone and switches back into Adora. She’s surprised by the ease of access as there should be guards stationed around, but plays it off as if they must be on lunch or something. She hears her friend, Lonnie, call to her, but wouldn’t you know, this was all just a trap put in place by Hordak to play on Adora’s kind nature to pull her back into captivity.

Lonnie pulls the ole SUHPRISE and out pops Hordak and the Shadow Weaver. Turns out, Lonnie had no choice as Hordak has been holding her father captive on Beast Island and this was her way of getting him released. But Hordak pulls the okey-doke on her too and won’t release him as promised. Lonnie must feel like shit.

Bow arrives in the Fright Zone and is immediately met by Horde Troopers that he disposes of rather routinely before encountering Grizzlor and a crew of Troopers. Bow outsmarts the shit out of them by killing the lights and is able to locate Adora in Hordak’s chamber. Hordak hits him with some sleep gas and things are looking bleak for the good guys. Cowl, however, is still around and is able to grab Adora’s sword and getting out through the window just before Hordak is able to secure the chamber. Hordak isn’t at all upset about losing the sword as he still has Adora and Bow in shackles.

Hordak takes Adora to Beast Island so the Shadow Weaver can again try to get control of her mind, but Cowl slips into the cell and delivers the sword so Adora can transform into She-Ra. Grizzlor comes to transport the prisoner and is shocked to find She-Ra where Adora should be.

She disposes of the baddies then frees Bow and tells Lonnie to come with them so they can free her father. Lonnie must realllllllly feel like shit.

They find Lonnie’s dad, but Hordak and some Troopers immediately attempt to thwart their rescue efforts. They pose basically zero resistance and She-Ra turns her sword to a lasso to swing up to the cage suspended high in the air to free Lonnie’s father.

Our heroes escape into the wilderness of Beast Island which is roamed by all sorts of monsters. There’s no way they’ll be able to get out of this alive. They’re met by all sorts of monsters who have laser eyes, but of course, She-Ra’s pterodactyl monster from earlier comes in to rescue them and fly the entire crew back to Whispering Woods. Friends come in all sorts of shapes, but we are lucky to have them all.

Final Thoughts:

Yeah, I knew what this was going to be. What a ridiculous concept. If you’re expecting some cutting edge writing or thought-provoking stories, you’re not getting it here. We see how good of a heart Adora has and her willingness to help friends and then we get what I assume is their daily escape from the clutches of the Horde.

When it comes down to it, this was the 80s and, apparently, just what these cartoons were. She-Ra: Princess of Power did get a nice run of 93 episodes and had a pretty bad-ass toy line so there was obviously a market for it; especially at a time where there weren’t very many vehicles like this being presented to young girls.

All in all, if I were watching this series straight through, I can imagine it would become quite the chore as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and M.A.S.K. have for me beforehand, but as a standalone episode, it’s fine to look back the cheesiness of it and just accept it for what it is.

You don’t need to have seen the prior episodes as the background is given during the opening credits so you can just sit back and be thrown into today’s adventure which, to be fair, is not the worst thing in the world.

So, She-Ra, you still got it, girl. But don’t expect me to binge watch you and your friends anytime soon.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.3,E.8: “The Fifth Turtle”

OK, I know, I basically took a month off. I needed to. This show was just getting to me and I’m not someone who can deal with being force-fed shit. But I have time and am sitting in a hotel with nothing to do so I’m gonna give this another whirl. It’s been long enough.

I’ve watched a lot of other things in between which I probably should have reviewed for the hell of it, but I didn’t because I suck.

But I will be better with getting content up here. Maybe not everyday, but more than there has been recently. Promise.

S.3, E.8: “The Fifth Turtle”. Original Air Date: October 30th, 1989

Plot:

It’s been a while, so once again, I pop huge for the intro theme. It seriously does such a good job of getting you excited to be watching this show. The energy, the colors, the characters. All, just terrific.

We begin in the lair late at night where the Turtles have the munchies. They’re also all out of shredded mozzarella and send Donatello and Raphael to go to the all-night market so they can make pizza. Because god forbid any of them have a fucking sandwich or some pretzel rods or something.

They two get their groceries and decide to take a shortcut through an alley where they’re encountered by a gang of toughs. As they get ready to throw down, a kid in a TMNT Halloween costume jumps in front of them and threatens the thugs declaring himself as Zach another of the superhero Turtles. We all see where this going. The kid basically falls on his dumb face immediately, but Raph and Donnie take care of business with ease. The two real Turtles then tell Zach that he’s not a Turtle and he could have gotten hurt which causes the little guy to run away upset that his heroes wouldn’t appreciate his efforts. On the way out, though, he picks up Raph’s TurtleCom which was lost during the kerfuffle and states that he’ll show them that he can be just as tubular or some shit. I don’t know. I already disdain this kid.

Cut to the Technodrome where Krang is providing an astronomy lesson for Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady. There’s some kind of planetary alignment coming tomorrow night that – with the use of Krang’s new weapon and some strategically placed crystals – will finally raise the Technodrome back to the surface.

We head to Channel 6 News where April O’Neil is getting a hot tip that there’s been a break-in at a lab and Bebop and Rocksteady have been spotted. She hits up the TMNT on the TurtleCom to let them know, but Zach also gets the message on his newly found device and is hyped to join in on the action.

Shredder is leading a robbery at the lab to steal the crystals Krang needs, but the Turtles interrupt and have him dead to rights until fuckboi Zach comes rolling in on his bicycle and ruins everything. The tables have now turned and Shredder has the advantage. Zach has a close call with death, but is saved at the last second by Raphael. Shredder and his mutants are able to use the distraction to escape with the crystals and keep their plans in tact for the raising of the Technodrome, but not before Rocksteady blabs the whole plan to April on their way out.

Zach is able to track the Turtles back to their lair using his junior detective kit that looks like something you’d order from the back of a comic in the 80s. Splinter is actually impressed that Zach has done what others have been unable to do and find the lair. The Turtles give him a quick tour and offer him some pizza because, hey, they’ve got time to kill before squashing Shredder and Krang’s evil plan, right? Everybody needs to take a blow here and there. Splinter then advises Zach not to interfere going forward because nobody wants to see him get hurt.

Shredder decides to use Zach’s enthusiasm for his benefit and calls the police to report that he found a bicycle and would like to return it. He gives the cops a license plate number and the police are more than happy to give him Zach’s address thinking that he’s a good Samaritan and not at all a child rapist.

Let’s take a moment. The cops just tell Shredder the address like it ain’t no thang. What in the glorious fuck?! Like, in the 80s, weren’t we all terrified of people snatching children from everywhere?! Pay close attention to your kids in the supermarket, folks! Or else people will grab them and you’ll never see them ever again! That shit was real! “America’s Most Wanted” was basically created for just that type of shit! And here’s the NYPD just GIVING Shredder a local boy’s address because he happened to have the license plate number of the kid’s bicycle. (And don’t get me started on just how ludicrous it is for bicycles to have a license plate. Come the fuck on.) But yeah. Who just gives out this kind of information?! Now I hope Bebop eats this fucking kid and the NYPD all get fired for providing a known villain with his home address without even asking who was calling or anything.

OK, I’m back from that tangent. That was intense, eh? Fine, let’s see what else happens.

Bebop and Rocksteady go to Zach’s house, but are pretty loud about it and Zach is able to hide to avoid getting taken. Bebop says it doesn’t matter if they find the kid because once they get the crystals set up, the Turtles won’t be able to stop them from raising the Technodrome. Zach hears this, of course, and – even though he promised Splinter he wouldn’t get involved, decides that the Turtles are his friends and Turtles stick together. OK, sure, kid.

Back at the lair, Donatello uses science to figure out that Shredder plans to use the Planetarium to put the plan into use. Because, of course. Zach heads there and just knows Donatello will figure out the whole thing about the Planetarium because he’s so smart, but he’ll just hang outside so he can warn the TMNT. Why this asshole kid is talking to himself in the middle of the night when he knows bad guys are all around is beyond me. What a fucking mark.

Of course, Rocksteady pops out from behind the bushes and captures Zach so they’ll be no warning the Turtles.

The Turtles hit the Planetarium and basically give up once Shredder brandishes the captured kid. So now all five of these guys are tied up and there’s no way they’ll be able to foil Krang’s evil plans this time around.But SUHPRISE! The crystals are reactive to sound and fuckboi Zach knows just the thing!

He asks for Donatello’s TurtleCom and is able to shift just enough to plug his headphones into the jack that never existed in any episode prior to this which creates the world’s most annoying sound. Everybody within earshot is fucking pissed, but the noise forces the crystals to explode and the Technodrome can no longer be raised. A piece of the crystal lands near Leonardo’s foot and he’s able to kick it up so they can free themselves and attack the baddies.

That Shredder is crafty, however, and drops a smoke bomb so he and the mutants can escape to fight another day. Shredder really is horrible at this whole bad guy thing.

The Turtles and Splinter thank Zach for his help and give him a TurtleCom as a gift as well as declaring him an honorary Turtle. Hooray.

Final Thoughts:

I don’t even know. So Zach is 13 and the only family shown is an older brother who is maybe 16. There’s no parental supervision and the kid is able to just walk right out of the house at all hours of the night and ride his bike like it’s nothing even thought New York City is depicted as being this awful, crime-infested hell hole.

Zach would be 41 years-old now and I hope to fucking hell that he’s a much more attentive parent to his kids than his parents were to him. That’s if he’s still alive and didn’t get himself killed by another bumbling evil-doer. That’s a story I’d like to see April O’Neil report on live from the scene.

This show has about as much depth as the kiddie pool at Munchkin Land. It also makes me absolutely terrified to re-watch He-Man since that was and is my jam and I don’t want it to ever be ruined for me.

Jeez. What’s a boy to do? Maybe I just need a new show. This was episode 26 overall of this show and that seems to be about the time I gave up on M.A.S.K. I don’t know. We’ll think of something.

Until then, remember to listen to the latest episode of the Car JoeMez Podcast, subscribe and leave a review. Also, feel free to go back and listen to all the older episodes as well!

❤ Joe